You Know I'm No Good
by CottonQueen
Summary: Bella is a high school student who works at the local diner part-time. Two men get into an argument and Bella's life is threatened. The mysterious Edward Cullen intervenes with fate. Now, Bella has to put together the pieces and explain the impossible.
1. Chapter 1

_Forks, Washington_

_June 30__th_

Yesterday, I almost died. Almost.

I was working the day shift at the diner in Forks. My life has never been of any consequence. My dad is the town sheriff, and he's all I've got. Mom left us when I was five and I haven't seen her since. Life is always quiet in this small town of Forks, and it's come to be a place that I love.

But, nothing ever exciting has ever happened. That obviously does not include yesterday.

It was nearly empty at the diner. It always was at 3:30a.m. There were only three men sitting in the diner. Two men were strangers to me, sitting across from eachother in a booth on the far end. The other man in the diner was a man that I was beginning to become very familiar with.

Across from me, at a table all by himself, sat Edward Cullen. He was a perfect gentleman who came to the diner at odd times of night. He looked at me and smiled a crooked smile. I couldn't help but to blush and look away. Edward was a peculiar person. He always simply ordered a black coffee, and then left it completely untouched. He usually brought something to read.

Another odd thing about Edward--he always seemed interested in talking to me. Which I did not mind. His company was enjoyable.

"Hey Edward," I came and sat in his booth.

"Bella." He stated formally as he stared at the two men across the tiny diner. It was like he was eavesdropping, but I knew he was too far away to hear. I couldn't hear a thing.

"What's going on?" I asked him, looking back at the two men across the diner.

"Oh nothing." He responded, then turned his gaze to me. I felt my cheeks heat up again. I could tell he had something on his mind. He looked zoned out again. As if pre-occupied.

"Do you want your black coffee?"

"Sure."

I hopped up and immediately went to get his coffee. Our conversations were always small. The Cullens moved here at the beginning of the summer. He was going to be a junior, just as I was. I had only known him about a month, but it seemed like he was in here every night. And though I made small talk, I hadn't gathered any other information on him. The conversations always seemed to be on me.

"BULLSHIT." The man across from the other man said loudly. I jumped out of surprise. A good waitress would have checked on them but I could see that now was not the time. I refuse to be interrupt any arguement between two burly men.

I brought Edward's coffee back and set it in front of him.

"So why do you work at the diner?" His question was very blunt and upfront, as always.

"I don't want my dad to spend all his retirement money on my college. It doesn't seem fair to him. College is a choice."

"That's very mature of you." He responded, his attention still seemed to be elsewhere.

"It's not mature. It's just fair." I shrugged.

He stared off into the distance so I figured I would fill it in with words.

"Besides, there's nothing else to do here, I have no------"

The two men scooted their table chairs back and raised their voices.

Everything after that seemed to happen in slow motion. One of the men pulled a gun, and shot the other man in the chest. And then he looked dead at me. The cold glare on his face immediately alerted me to his intentions. There was a dark soul in those eyes. Edward and I were both standing in a flash. And, faster than I could even think about reacting, Edward stood in front of me. Edward was blocking the bullet that was about to come my way. I couldn't let this happen, so I was pushing against his body. And not succeeding. I couldn't even budge him.

I heard the shot fire, and I hugged Edward as if I expected to catch him. But something unusual happened. He did not fall backwards into my ready frame, and he didn't move. I let my hands down, shocked. He moved away from me. In fact, he began to walk towards the man. The man who had shot Edward was clearly in shock. I saw the bullet rolling around on the floor. Edward had moved so fast. Inhumanly fast. He threw the gun out of the man's hand and pushed him up against the wall and was choking him, had him off the ground, with one hand. He gripped until the man almost passed out, and then commanded, "Get out of here and never come back." He dropped the man, who fell to the floor. Edward emptied the gun. The man had the most frightened look on his face, and began to run away. The man ran out of the diner, stumbling on his way out. Edward looked at me, and looked at the man who's body was surrounded in blood. He cocked his head to the side and I for the first time I feared not for Edward, but I feared Edward himself. And I could not figure out why he did not just kill that man if he was looking so vengeful.

My voice failed me and I sounded shaky as I whispered, "Edward?"

He gazed at me again and strained for what seemed like minutes. Looking softer now, he walked over to me.

"You didn't see anything, OK? We can never talk about this. NEVER. I wasn't here." His voice was so firm that I could do nothing but nod a teary response.

I was just grateful to be alive, and I knew what I had seen was nothing human.

"I have to go, I can't be involved, don't tell. You can't tell anyone." He grabbed his coat.

"What do I do?" I asked, mesmerized and completely willing to play along.

"Lie. The man shot the other man and ran." He gritted his teeth and walked out of the diner with that man's unloaded gun, and for all I knew, he might have walked out of my life.

I ran to the phone and dialed 911. Soon after I heard the police sirens. They became louder as they grew closer. I had no idea what I was going to do. Quickly, I looked over and saw Edward's coffee. I grabbed it, put my lips to it and ran to the sink and dumped it. I looked at the floor and saw the bullet that did not penetrate Edward's chest. I picked it up to see the bullet was flat on one side, as if it had been crushed against a flat surface. Slipping it into my pocket, I acknowledged to myself that I was clearly in shock and that there was no way this was happening. Bella Swan, tampering with a crime scene. I couldn't believe it. Who in the hell knew why I was protecting this boy's secret.

But I knew one thing.

Even though Edward Cullen may not be human, he saved my life. And I have no idea why.

*****

My dad came in and immediately ran to my side. Tears began falling down my cheeks. A dead man was lying on the floor of the diner. The diner was such a simple and happy place, yet this grim sight changed everything that I thought and felt about the diner in an instant. I would never be able to enter this room again without thinking about what happened. What I saw. What I could not understand.

"Bella, what happened?" He asked me, with worry in his eyes.

"I don't even know. I was in the back trying to cook their waffles. I heard gun shots and I came out to see that one dead."

"How many shots?"

"Just one."

"Dad, they were arguing. The entire time I was serving them. I left them completely alone because I was scared to interrupt."

"Was there anyone else here in the diner?" Charlie asked, the investigator writing everything down.

"No, there were only two men." I said to them, it was so firm sounding even though I knew it was a lie.

I answered more questions and gave a description of the man who ran away. I did exactly as Edward told me.

Men with gloves, stretchers, body bags, it was all surreal. Yellow tape was all around. I had seen this so many times on _CSI_ and _Law and Order_, but that was just television. This was real, except at the moment it seemed more surreal. No, Edward stopping a bullet, THAT was surreal.

"Charlie, come here" One of the men said. Dad walked away from me. While I sat alone I noticed another conversation going on between the coroner and the investigator.

"He's still warm. I call the time of death at approximately 3:50 a.m.," said the coroner.

I shuddered at the thought. Edward had stopped a bullet. Edward had almost strangled a man with his bare hands. I had no idea who Edward was, though I falsely let myself believe that he was just another common Forks citizen. How naïve could I be?

Henry, the diner's owner, had pulled up. He said he would only be gone an hour, and he was gone, to the fish market. He came back, shocked and horrified to see what transpired.

Henry was good friends with Charlie and he was almost like a second father. He insisted that I immediately go home. The investigators gave me the all clear, noting that they would "keep in touch." I dreaded having to lie again, but I knew this was far from over. Poor Henry, he never liked leaving me alone to go to the market, and I knew they would question him because of his absence.

Strangely, after all the events that transpired, the only thought on my mind as I was driving home involved seeing Edward again. I feared that I might not see him again. And although I was somewhat terrified of him, I was also intrigued by him. I was attracted to him like a curious fly attracted and mesmerized by the light. That was the only explanation I had. There was no other reason why I was lying for him.

Could it have been the pleading in his eyes when he told me he couldn't be involved? Could it be compassion for the man (or whatever he is) that saved my life? Or was it the need to have my questions answered and figure out what he really was so that I might walk in peace again?

Something was truly unsettling about him.

_Author's Note: I am new to this and I would appreciate all kinds of feedback! Thank-you._


	2. Lies, Lies, Lies

I took off from the diner for an entire week. And much to my dismay, Charlie and Henry told me I would no longer be working the late night hours that I loved so much. Which meant that I wouldn't get to see Edward if he came around at that hour.

I was now stuck to working busy lunch hours, and of course news had traveled fast. And rumors. Lots of rumors. I was questioned more times than I could count. I stuck with the same four or five sentences.

"They were arguing"

"I left them alone"

"I came from the kitchen after I heard the gun-shot."

"The man ran away."

And because I had stuck to my incredibly simple story, everyone seemed to buy it. Even the investigators. They had deduced that the two men were brothers. They had not found the man yet, but there was a warrant out for his arrest. I told them the truth, up until the part where I lied about witnessing the death. I told them about the escalating arguments. I told them bits and pieces of what I heard had said. I was so good at lying that I was scared of fooling myself. I didn't want to forget Edward.

Edward. I hadn't seen him since that night. I don't know whether to thank him or run from him.

Somehow I managed to survive another lunch hour. And then, the people I least expected to see came in the diner. I didn't know their names, but I knew that they were Edward's family. They all sat down at the biggest booth.

Hey, I'm Bella, what can I get for you to drink?

Suddenly doing my job became extremely awkward.

"We'll all have water." Said the oldest blonde man.

"Great. I'll be back soon to take your order." I started to move away quickly.

"Oh, that won't be necessary. Thank-you."

So the whole family doesn't eat. Maybe they're all like Edward. Different.

I had this feeling that their eyes were on me the whole time. Even when I was in the kitchen, I felt eyes on me.

I came back reluctantly to serve their drinks. They all sat incredibly still, staring at me oddly.

I hesitated. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"

Just then the bells on the door to the diner jingled and all of our heads shot over to the door. Edward walked through, looking surprised to see his family. And then he looked mad, though it wasn't the kind of rage I had witnessed that one night. My heart nearly stopped, and then began pounding through my chest. He came next to me and stopped. A wave of his scent washed over me and my knees grew weak. He smelt so incredibly NICE. My mouth opened slightly but there were no words.

"I can see you've met my family." Edward muttered, though I could tell his anger was directed at them, not me.

"Not really…" I said, looking at the floor.

"Well, I must introduce you." He continued, "This is Esme and Carlisle, my mom and dad, that is Alice, that is Rosalie, that is Emmett, and that is Jasper."

"Okay…" I didn't know what else to say. This whole situation was very strange for me. I had no idea how to be normal around these very beautiful people.

The one named Alice spoke up, "Okay, I'm done. I just wanted to meet her, since we're going to be friends and everything. I didn't expect you to drop by so soon, but I can see that you have something to take care of." At that, the whole family stood up, and walked out, eyeing Edward and I as they exited. Carlisle gave Edward a pat on the shoulder before he followed the family.

I sat down where the Cullen's once were, and Edward followed suit.

"Do you need to talk to me?" I asked.

"Yes….." He said, and then he hesitated. Once again, we were the only two in the diner with the exception of the cook in the back.

He continued, "I need to know that you haven't told anyone."

So it was real. I had been trying to compartmentalize that incident, rationalize it and tell myself it didn't happen, but he confirmed it for me.

"I haven't told a soul." I met his eyes with my honesty. Suddenly I was not so scared of Edward.

"Why not?"

"Because you asked me to. And because you saved my life, it's the least I can do."

He looked touched. He was searching for the next question.

I lowered my voice to almost a whisper.

"I was afraid it wasn't real and that I would never see you again."

His eyes softened upon mine, and I could have died happy in that moment.

"Bella, most people would run from me. Most people would tell the investigators the truth rather than trust a man they hardly know."

"But I trust you for some reason…."

"You shouldn't." His jaw tightened and he looked away.

"Why don't you tell me why I shouldn't trust you?" I asked, boldly and without thought.

"Because I haven't always been the good guy."

I sat for a moment and thought about what he was saying. He was saying, that at one point in time, he was quite dangerous. I witnessed his incredible power and that probably meant that he had killed someone. Or maybe he had killed many people. But I could also see that was in his past. I saw regret in his eyes, and I could see that he was beating himself up. He was a changed person.

"Everyone is forgiven for their past. It's who you are today that matters." I said.

"It's not like that for me, Bella. We both know I'm different."

"How are you different Edward?"

"I told you we can never talk about that." His anger was rising. His moods changed quickly, and I was beginning to tire of keeping up with it, when I think I had been more than understanding.

The silence fell between us both.

"I'm ready whenever you want to tell me. I've kept one secret, and I can keep another."

He looked down at his hands, as if he really wanted to tell me, but could not. He wanted to warn me away from him, and I could tell he thought it was better if I were FAR away from him, but I wanted none of that.

More silence. I could tell we were going nowhere today, so I stood up. My foot caught on the edge of the booth and I stumbled. Before I knew it I was in Edward's arms as he helped me back up, just like a gentleman. He didn't let go, and we just stared at each other's eyes. His skin was incredibly cool, but in the hot summer it felt strangely pleasant.

"Promise me this won't be the last time I see you." I whispered.

"It won't. But that's not my choice." He whispered back, releasing me. I already missed his cool touch. I watched him walk away, and out of the diner.

*****

The first day of school was completely mundane. Life was back to normal, plain and boring. I hadn't seen Edward since our last conversation, and I wished that I had. I had so many questions. I couldn't get that one night out of my head. I rehashed each event in my mind. I was desperately trying to figure out what he was.

He was shot, but there was no blood or bullet hole.

He saved my life.

He almost strangled that man with one hand.

And he managed to do it all in less than a minute.

I went to biology, and plopped into one of the tall lab stools. It was the first day of school so there were always frilly welcome activities. I started scratching down answers to the simple questions on the board. I looked up and saw him enter the room.

I thought to myself, "That's right, it's Edward's first day of school at Forks."

Unfortunately, the only seat left was next to me.

"Hey," Edward whispered to me, very friendly-like. The change in his voice caught me off guard.

"Hey," I whispered back.

He pulled out a sheet of paper and began scratching down things as well.

Then I saw question number five, and I paused.

The question on the board read, "What is the most exciting thing that happened to you this summer?"

Edward noticed. I had this feeling he had been leaning over and reading my answers.

Edward said, "What is the most exciting thing that happened to you this summer?"

"Meeting Edward Cullen."

Edward scowled. He didn't like that response.

At that, I changed my tune.

"Come on, I'm not going to write about it, you know that."

"Why not?" He asked jokingly, suddenly his mood changed.

"I made a promise to someone." I kept my mood serious.

He looked at the floor, almost as if expecting this conversation to come up soon.

I began scratching down a stupid answer about taking a hike at La Push with my dad.

"I can't tell you. I just. Can't." He gritted his teeth angrily.

"I may not understand who you are, but I owe you my life, so….I trust you." I responded simply.

"That's it?" I could see the shock written on his face. He had expected me to demand answers, and oh, I wanted answers, but I wasn't going to press Edward. I knew what he was capable of! Whatever it was, it was dangerous and exciting and I wanted to be around it.

"Can we still be friends?" I asked him.

"I'm not sure that's such a good idea…" He trailed off. I was very disappointed.

"So that means it's a bad idea?" I asked.

"More than likely…."

"That's okay, because I enjoy bad ideas." I said.

I saw him grinning through the draping of my hair.

"You are the most unpredictable person I know." He laughed. It was strange how his moods seems to change on the dime.

The teacher's voice interrupted our conversation and our focus was drawn back to the lesson being taught.

****

I sat down at lunch next to my friends Angela and Jessica. They were both drabbling on about their exciting summers. Angela spent the summer in Mexico helping underprivileged families. Jessica spent the summer in Vancouver with some family. Both were more exciting than my summer stuck at Forks. Well, I did have one exciting thing. But I couldn't talk about it.

The room seemed to slow down as the beautiful Cullen family walked in. Edward ignored me, and the rest of them followed, but Alice mouthed "Hello" to me, with a friendly smile.

"You know them?" Jessica said, her mouth gaping open.

"Yes, they visited the diner this summer and introduced themselves. Really…nice family."

"Someone told me they're all adopted. And that they're all together, like….together together. How weird would it be to date someone in your own house?"

"Maybe I should be adopted by the Cullens so I can find my match." Angela said.

"Everyone except Edward, he doesn't have a match. I'm probably going to go for him, we have Trigonometry together." Jessica boasted.

I looked over at his table and I saw Edward staring at the floor with his half-crooked smile. It was as if he was listening to our entire conversation. Hmm, I bet I could test that theory. I was probably going to get in trouble, but I had to know. He always seemed so distant, maybe it was because he also had super-sonic hearing?

"Yeah, well, Edward Cullen isn't all he's cracked up to be." I said.

His eyes shot up to meet mine, and I looked away. I wonder if it's just coincidence or if my theory is correct. He suddenly looked worried.

"Why is that?" Jessica said, interested.

"Well, he's a pretty bad tipper. And no manners. Gosh, he's so rude." All of what had come out of my mouth was a complete lie. Edward was quite the generous tipper. And he was possibly the most polite person I knew. I also knew he wouldn't like any attention. In fact, he had been ignoring everyone all day, as if to intentionally separate himself from everyone here.

His mouth draped open, and looked at me with his head turned, obviously trying to figure out why I had just said what I had said.

"Gotcha," I thought to myself.

"I believe you Bella, but he is so beautiful. I just need to find out for myself." Jessica was persistent, I'll give her that.

"Have fun." I said, I could hear a twinge of jealousy through my own voice. I knew more than anyone here. I need to date Edward. If anyone does, it should be ME.

I smiled boldly at Edward, who was now looking irritated at me.

"Gosh, why is he looking at you like he's so pissed?" said Jessica.

"I told you, he's a jerk." I was surprised at the calmness, because he really did look pissed at me.

****

When the 2:45 bell rang, telling us to go home, I was relieved. I stayed later than everyone else, taking my sweet time gathering my books from my locker. I had no where to be this afternoon so my pace was slow. By the time I got to the parking lot, I only saw two cars. My old truck next to a really nice BMW. And Edward standing next to my truck.

Afraid that he was a mirage, I walked faster so that I could meet him sooner.

"What was all that garbage you were telling Jessica?" He asked me, clearly amused.

"Well, I figured that you don't like attention. You've been pushing yourself away from everyone here. I thought I would help."

"Is that the way you feel about me? You think I'm rude?" He actually believed what I said!

"No, everything I said was an intentional lie. It was actually a plot against you."

"What?"

"I wanted to see if you had super-sonic hearing, and you just proved to me that you do."

He backed away from me, stunned. I immediately regretted manipulating him like that.

"You are the most unpredictable human---" He was irritated with me.

"Human, that implies that I am, and you are not?"

"You know that I could kill you, in one second." He took a step closer.

"I know." I didn't back away.

"Then why aren't you running." His jaw was tense once more.

"Because you're not going to, just because you have the ability." I sighed. I was quickly getting tired of this argument.

He took more one step closer to me, and I was encapsulated by his sweet breath.

"Bella, I can't tell you what I am, but I'm not going to prevent you from guessing."

"So now it's like a game?" I smiled at him, happy to know that I could probably figure it out.

"I guess you could say that." His mood was playful again.

"What do I get if I win?" I was flirtatious, and I took a step closer to him. He didn't back away.

"What do you want?" He asked, clearly flirting back with me.

"You to be my friend." I wanted MORE, but at this point in time I was too scared to ask for it. Being rejected by him would be the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

"I can't do that." He said. Okay, so I was rejected anyways.

"The way I see it, we already are friends, Edward. Non-friends don't just talk to each other all the time."

Defeated, he simply stated, "I wish you would re-think that. I'm really no good for you."

Satisfied with that answer for now, I figured I should leave at that.

"Well, I've got to go, I'm a busy girl…" I wandered over to my side of the truck.

"I thought you said you had nothing to do this afternoon." He commented.

"What? I never told you that." After saying the words, I remembered his supersonic hearing.

"You told Angela that." He said, opening my door like the perfect gentleman he is. A girl could really get used to that kind of treatment.

And of course, to ruin the perfect moment, I would have to teeter from the weight of my backpack and stumble into the truck. Edward held me with one hand, easing me into the driver's seat.

"I really worry about you. You are so delicate and accident prone. Not even a football uniform could save you."

Ignoring the fact that he completely just called me a klutz, I focused on the fact that he called me delicate. I was stuck on it.

I liked being called delicate. I liked having my door opened for me. To be such a "Bad guy," he sure was sensitive. All I did was tell a lie that he was rude and he practically went mad on me. I guess they say all tough guys have a soft spot, and if that were true, then I would certainly find Edward's soft spot very soon.


	3. My Little Secret

I was in Biology again the next day, sitting next to Edward, completely distracted. Just thinking about everything that I had ever known. And out of all the things I knew, I had never known about anything like Edward. He was a boy, and besides all his special skills there was something more. It was the way he talked, the way he treated me like a lady, the way he ran his hand through his hair when he was agitated with me. It was the things he did that made all of my hard feelings go away, only to be replaced with softer feelings.

Edward. My mind was racing on thoughts of his every feature. Part of me wanted to know exactly who he was, but part of me didn't even care. I felt like I already knew him. I felt like he already knew me too.

I caught myself staring at him. He looked back at me, and I could see the gold flecks in his eyes. I was entranced by them and almost couldn't turn away. I must have had the stupidest smile on my face.

"What, is something wrong?" he whispered.

"No."

"Did you figure something out?" He asked, perhaps thinking that I had an epiphany.

"Not a single thing." I smiled at him. My behavior must seem unusual to him.

"You don't sound concerned." he was clearly confused.

"I'm just beginning to think that it doesn't even matter what you are."

He was stunned wordless for the rest of class. When the bell rang, he bolted from his chair as if wanting to get away from me. I would not let him get away so easily.

Walking at a frustrated pace, I could see it was beginning to bother him. I followed him into an empty corridor of the high school, the halls were emptying as everyone went to their next class.

"Bella, it really does matter." Edward said huskily.

"Why, if you don't want me to know, and I am content with not knowing, why should it matter." Edward eyed me as if I had just lost my mind. He distanced himself from me, pacing the corridor, trying to figure out the right words to say next.

"You need to know so that you will stay as far away from me as possible." He finally breathed, as if it was more serious than I had previously realized. My heart felt like it was going to break. I didn't know I could feel like that.

"I can accept whatever you are. Whatever you've done. I don't care." My voice faltered.

It was kind of clear to me that I had just given myself away. I was not good at pretending to be strong, especially when I wanted something so bad.

I had a feeling I wasn't exactly talking about just friendship anymore either.

Edward looked perplexed, as he frequently looked when around me. Perhaps it's because I don't seem to make any sense to him. Maybe I don't. Maybe I should run away right now and spare myself some humiliation. Anything is better than feeling this way.

"Bella…" He moved closer. His sweet voice was killing my heart.

"I really shouldn't even be friends with you. Perhaps I should have never let it get this far. We need to distance ourselves. We're different. We couldn't have been friends for long anyways."

Perhaps he knew and he was trying to spare me the humiliation, or perhaps he had no clue at all. Guys were often clue unless you spelled it out for them , right? I had hoped so.

I shook my head. I wanted friendship at the very least. I was going to speak to argue with him, but one of the doors to the classroom opened, and a teacher stood looking at us with skepticism.

"Skipping class to go make-out or something?" The teacher asked.

My cheeks flushed a bright red. Edward looked at me as if some kind of light-bulb in his head had turned on. Oh no. I hope that didn't signal him.

He spoke for the both of us. "I was just lost, new student and all, Bella was helping me, that's all."

The teacher pointed down the hallway, signaling for us to go our separate ways.

I walked down the hallway one way, as he walked another way. _Don't look back at him_, I thought to myself. I took steps, and before I turned to go down the hallway to the left, I looked back. And Edward was standing at the other end of the long corridor, looking back at me. Chills went down my spine. I couldn't speak, I didn't even wave. I just disappeared around the corner, wondering if maybe he knew my new-found secret. I didn't want him to know, I wanted to keep it my secret.

****

The rest of the day was uneventful. I went to the parking lot after school and Edward's car was gone. He must have gone home early. Or maybe he was avoiding me. I slouched a little at that. Traffic was easy and getting to the diner was fast. I tried to drive slowly, and take the longest route. I didn't exactly feel like working today. I felt like dreaming.

Work went by quickly, thank goodness. Since it was football season, the diner closed at 9:00 on weeknights except for Friday. I was moping the floor, a very mundane task. I heard a tap on the glass of the front window.

It was Alice Cullen. I walked over and twisted the key at told her.

"Sorry Alice, we close early now."

"Oh no, I wanted to talk to you, is now a bad time?" She asked as if already knowing the answer.

"No, just let me put this up really quick." She took a seat at the counter as I grabbed a rag and started wiping it down.

"Is something wrong?" I asked her.

"No, I just wanted to stop by, and deliver your notebook, you left it in Trigonometry today." She dropped it on the counter, though I thought I remembered putting it into my backpack today. Oh well.

"Oh thanks." I was unsure of why she was still here.

"Can I ask you something?" She looked at me extremely curious.

"Yeah." My brain was not working for hard answers.

"Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"

"Hmm.." I stopped scrubbing. "Probably in college, working on a literature degree. Something kind of deep where I can just shut myself up in my room and read a lot."

She laughed at this. I was totally unsure of why we were having this conversation.

She stood up to leave.

"Also, I wanted to tell you Edward is not feeling well, he is going to be out of school for a few days."

"Oh." I could hear my own disappointment in my voice.

****

Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday went by incredibly slow. My old friends were entertaining, but class was a drag. I couldn't keep my mind off of Edward. I gave Alice a "Get Well Soon" card to give to Edward, because I figured that's what a friend would do. She reassured me that he was doing okay and that it was just a bad stomach bug.

Saturday was laundry day. Charlie was on highway duty, so I was at home alone to do all the chores. I felt a churning in my stomach, and before I knew it I was running for the bathroom. I vomited until my stomach was empty. Edward had given me his lousy stomach bug. Funny, I had begun to doubt that he was sick at all. I brushed my teeth and laid on the couch. It was depressing. It was a time when I could have really used a mother. Someone to take care of me. I felt miserably horrible.

Just then I heard the doorbell ring. Ugh. I answered it with my eyes half-closed.

"Bella, are you okay?" a sweet voice almost sang.

I opened my eyes a bit wider to say the least.

I stood up straighter, combed my fingers through my hair, and tried to appear better. It didn't seem to work though, as a faint feeling swept over me and I began teetering. He stepped in and held me up, and lifted me with ease. He carried me over to the couch and laid me down. His cool hand touched my forehead and it was like relief for my skin.

"You are burning up. Which way is the kitchen?"

I pointed in the general direction. He brought a glass of water back and a blanket from the chair across the room.

"Aren't you scared of getting sick again?" I asked.

"No, I'm more worried for you." He smiled gently.

He sat next to me on the floor. His face was right next to me.

"Is there anything else I can get you?" He asked.

My stomach was in knots. I shook my head. Anything that went in would probably come back up.

"Why are you here?" I asked.

He looked away, as if being caught.

"I just had a feeling you would need some company today."

"Oh great, you're psychic too."

"No, that I can say, I am not."

I wasn't going to press any further questions. I was just glad he was here.

"So you ARE my friend." I stated.

He turned to me and looked into my eyes.

"I've given up. It seems I can't stay away from you anyways."

My heart and my stomach were in knots. I felt like exploding.

I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

****

I woke up to the sound of the T.V. The clock on the cable box read 4:12. I looked around. Had I been dreaming that Edward was here. I called out his name.

"Edward?" I looked around and rubbed my face. I saw a piece of paper on the coffee table.

_Bella,_

_You were resting and your fever came down so I decided to go home before Charlie showed up. I hope you feel better. Thank-you for the Get Well card. I really just came by to thank-you for that and get the homework I missed. Don't worry, I'll get it later. Consider this a get-well soon to you. _

_Sincerely,_

_Edward_

I folded up the note and put it in the drawer by my bedside. His penmanship was so well crafted, his script was perfect, and although he had said nothing of great importance, it still made butterflies flutter in my stomach.


	4. Uncover

I dreaded Mondays. Mondays meant that I had a whole week until Saturday. But I'll tell you why I hate Mondays the most. That's when grumpy, old, Mr. Clayton comes in. He is the most particular customer. And he comes in the diner, every Monday at 5:00p.m. It seems he is just there to remind me that it's going to be a long week. Every week.

"Where's the ketchup? This ketchup bottle isn't even half-way full." He fussed at me. His skin reminded me of an old paper grocery bag. The wrinkles around his eyes were set to make his expression even more resentful.

"It's umm, still _half-way_ full, you just have to shake it a little." I reached for the bottle and began to shake it.

"It's not working. Get a new bottle!"

_It's a diner, what does he expect? _I thought to myself.

Feeling defeated, I stormed away from him, through the kitchen of the diner, and into the storage room. It was a pretty good room for the size of the diner. Filled with nothing but unlabeled boxes. No organization whatsoever. It was always a hassle sorting through to find what you needed.

I was in one corner, rummaging through the boxes, muttering and mimicking Mr. Clayton.

"Well, this is too hot, too cold, too full, not full enough, stupid son of--"

"Not having a good day?" A voice behind me said.

I squealed and turned around, dropping the box of napkins.

"Sorry, I just….Hey, how did you get back here? You're not supposed to be back here." Seeing Edward, I sighed out of relief but quickly became bothered again.

"Do we really need to go over this?" He asked cooly.

"Okay, whatever, I get the whole, non-human, mysterious man thing. To answer your previous question, NO. I am not having a great day. Mr. Clayton is always very---demanding."

"Is it horrible to be demanding at such a ripe age?" He asked.

"I don't think it's just because he's old, I think it's because he's EVIL."

"Do you think all old men are like that?" He flirted.

"No, there are some very nice old men. Usually old men are kind to me, because I'm young and remind them of their grand-daughter or something. I don't know. Why all the questions about old men?"

"Just having fun messing with you." Edward said, taking one step closer to me.

I took a step back, tripping on the box behind my feet. Edward caught me and pulled me to him before I had the chance to fall.

His hands were on my waist, and the small space had left him no choice but to pull me to him. Now we were touching, chest to chest.

I suddenly felt my cheeks heat up, I felt the cold surging from his skin. I couldn't look up. This was awkward. Mostly because I wanted it and I was sure this was somehow wrong. He had made it clear he was a different species. I must have been breaking some universal law for having these feelings for him.

I enjoyed the feel of the cool emanating off his skin, in contrast to this hot and stuffy room. It was like a breath of fresh air.

_Don't look up, _I thought.

_Don't look up._

I fought the urge but there was no where to go.

_Whatever, I give up._

I looked up at his eyes. His gaze was intense upon mine and I almost looked away. I resisted and his eyes held mine. We just stood there, staring, wordless. It seemed that he was searching my eyes, searching for something that he didn't quite understand. He turned his head to the side. Did he ever blink.?

_He's probably just trying to figure out why I'm such a clutz,_ I thought.

I heard a big clang of pots and pans in the kitchen. I snapped out of the moment and realized that a very angry customer was waiting on me. No time to daydream here.

"I had better go, Mr. Clayton is already very upset with me." I said, grabbing the stupid bottle of ketchup.

"Well, I will be upset if you leave me." Edward said, his half-crooked smile daring me. I didn't know what his tactics were, but he had no idea how his words sent my heart spinning. The last thing I wanted to do was anger him, and if staying here meant that I would not anger him, then, I would gladly stay in his arms.

Almost as if knowing, he dropped his hands from my waist. My face was burning like fire. I was embarrassed, as if I had been caught. I was almost certain, he MUST have known. Part of me wanted him to know but the other part of me prayed that he didn't.

"You know, you never told me why you came here." I asked in an almost whisper

I wiggled past him so that my back was to the closet door,. My heart didn't want to go, but my mind was telling me I should if I didn't want my Monday to get worse.

But Edward would only make my Monday better, wouldn't he?

"I came here to ask if you wanted to hang out after work." he said almost frustrated. He put his arm above my shoulder and leaned on the door. Once again he was in close proximity. His moods changed so fast. It was probably because I did not respond to his flirtatious comment in the way he had hoped.

Whatever it was, it was enough to set me off. I was keeping an already angry customer waiting.

"Do you still want to or is the tone of yours an indicator that you don't want to?" I hastily asked.

"You are just impossible." He said, flustered, his face seemingly close to mine.

"Why am I impossible Edward? Does my mind not work fast enough for you?"

"If you only knew what your mind was capable of." He noted, tilting his head with a strange look on his face.

"Now is not the time to test my limits, Edward. I've got an angry customer waiting and you toying with me. I do not want to hang out with you tonight--I cannot take anymore games for today." I twisted the knob behind me and I stormed out of the closet.

He is so exhausting! We are clearly two different people with two completely different agendas, although I had no clue what his was. I still didn't know anything about him, all I knew were the things he had told me, and the things I had told myself. I told myself that he could be more than just my friend. Was I lying to myself? How is that he can captivate me, with just one look? Every time he touches me _my_ body surges. His skin never warms to me, it's always ice cold.

_Perhaps I am lying to myself, wasting my time trying to attain the unattainable._ I thought myself, cringing at that thought. My want for him was obviously more uncontrollable than I previously thought.

I was so close to just giving up. Maybe it wasn't worth chasing after.

But why had he said those things to me? To provoke me? Does it amuse him to see me squeamish under his touch?

"Here's your ketchup, sir." I slapped the ketchup down on the table.

"I'm already done. I didn't want to let my food get cold, sitting around here waiting on your slow tail." The old man sputtered.

I was on the verge of screaming.

I clenched my fists and began to count to ten in my head.

_1.….2.….3.….4...5.…6.…7...8..9.…10!!!!!_

I put a huge fake grin on my face.

"I'll be right back with your bill then."

I spun on my heels and began to walk away.

"Don't take too long," he called after me.

*****

I finally helped close the shop at 9:00p.m. My feet were throbbing, and I had the stress of a huge test tomorrow in Literature. I had not even had time to finish the assigned reading, because I was recovering from that stomach virus.

I closed the shop door behind me and looked at my truck across the parking lot. Somehow, it didn't surprise me to see Edward waiting there, leaning against my truck.

He obviously did not understand what "No" meant.

I was so exhausted, and I did not feel like dealing with him again. I feared defeat. I feared saying something that shouldn't be said.

"What do you want, Edward?" I asked, opening my door and flinging my bag inside.

"I wish I could tell you everything I wanted." He said softly.

"Could you please stop being so cryptic?"

I turned to face him. His expression and soft eyes made my stomach drop to the floor.

"I don't like it when you're upset." He said.

"I don't either."

"What can I do to make you happy?" He said, as he pressed his forehead to mine. I could feel myself burning up. My whole body tingled for him. This was such a small but sensitive gesture. Touching foreheads like lovers. His lips just centimeters away from my own. I closed my eyes and parted my lips ever so slightly.

_I could just say the words, right now. I could tell him about the way he makes me feel, I could tell him that I am falling in love with him. I could tell him that it would make me the happiest girl in the world if he would claim me as his._ All these thoughts swirled through my mind as I became light-headed with this new found drunken feeling.

I had an open invitation to do speak, and tell him exactly what would make me happy.

I sighed. I couldn't reveal anything to him. Even if he felt the same way, it was wrong for us to be with each other. It was wrong because of what he isn't. He isn't human.

"Nothing can make me happy." I whispered, suddenly feeling the urge to cry. I fought the tears, but my skin got hotter. The pressure was building inside of me. I moved my forehead away from his and hugged him tight. His body was like stone, unmoving. His flesh didn't change under my touch, and the cold was just what I needed at this time. It gave me the strength to bury all of those feelings inside of me. My arms were around his neck and he wrapped his arms gently around my waist. He squeezed lightly.

"Is it because we're different?" He asked. The disappointment was ringing in his voice.

I nodded my head and sighed.

If I spoke now I would lose my strength.

"Do you need me to leave you alone?" He asked.

I wanted to scream at him and tell him to never leave my side. I was fighting my tears back as the pressure built behind my eyelids.

"No." my voice cracked and I only squeezed him tighter.

He inhaled the scent of my hair. His inhalation was soft, but his exhalation was slow, not wanting to let the scent of my hair go. It was then that I knew, I was not the only one having difficult feelings.

But we could not succumb to those feelings. We both knew it.

He pulled back and held my arms, and looked into my eyes.

I had never seen him this vulnerable before.

My lip was quivering as I fought to keep my face in tact.

He looked at my eyes as if he were trying to unsuccessfully read my soul.

The tears spilled out, and I looked at my feet. At the relief of the tears, I finally found that I could speak.

"I'm sorry Edward, I'm just really tired. This is embarrassing for me to let you see me like this." I couldn't look back up into those topaz pools.

Edward tilted my head up, and then patted the tears away. He hugged me closer and squeezed rather tight.

"You should get home then, I'll follow you to make sure you get there okay." Edward said, sounding almost as sad as me.

He was always a gentleman, regardless.


	5. Hero

It was nightfall, and I was sitting on my bed, doing homework like usual. I was confused. I had this hazy confused feeling. I had a hard time focusing on the papers in front of me. The text on the page was blurred and made no sense whatsoever. My frustration grew. I looked at the clock. It was 11:30p.m. There was no way I would learn anything this late. I closed my books angrily and tossed them across the room. I couldn't put a finger on this haze that I was feeling. I had a sense of longing. Like something was missing. That was when I heard a knock on the window and jumped from my bed.

"Bella, It's me Edward."

I ran to the window and opened it for him to crawl through. He easily entered. I stared at him, in awe of his beauty. The way his skin was so radiant and perfect, the way his shoulders were so broad. Edward didn't say a word to me, he only moved closer.

And closer. My heart was beating faster and I was frozen. There was no where to hide. I could not move my feet, they were planted beneath me. I had this overwhelming feeling to run, but I could not. I was stuck; I was under his trance. He was now inches from my face. His sweet breath made me want to inhale all of him, like a fine perfume. Smiling crookedly at me, he bent down and brushed his lips against mine. I thought I would die right there.

"I need you…" he spoke softly to me. Some semblance of control came back to me in the form of untame passion. I pressed my lips back to his and nudged him to where his back was touching the wall. I pressed my body against his. "Bella…" he growled. The way Edward spoke my name on his lips told me that he enjoyed my touch. My fingers ran up his chest as I looked up at him. He wrapped his arms around my waist as my fingers snaked through his hair. I looked into his honey eyes and we both knew what would come next.

He pushed away from the wall, and his lips were hungry on mine. The heat was coming off of me in waves. I was about to lose the last ounce of control I had. He sat down on the bed and pulled me into his lap. My legs straddled him and I pushed my body to his, trying to close any gap that there was between us. My kisses ran from his lips, to his neck, to his earlobe. I began tugging lightly on it with my teeth.

"Oh God, Bella…" Edward moaned. He moved his head and caught my lips with his, deepening our kisses. His hands wandered my body, stroking my back and my neck. His cold touch sent warm shivers of pleasure down my spine, and he smiled a crooked smile as I wiggled beneath his hands.

But suddenly Edward wasn't moving anymore. The crooked smile froze on his face, his touch turned even colder. I shuddered. I pulled away and stood up, and when I looked again, Edward had literally changed into stone. The most beautiful and fine sculpture I had ever laid eyes on.

I snapped awake, in a cold sweat. I flashed my eyes around the room, seeing that it was night. Thunder boomed outside, with rain beating against my window. I saw the flicker of a shadow in the corner. I looked at my alarm clock. It was 3:00a.m. I switched on the light and looked back to where I saw the shadow, but there was nothing.

*******

"Ms. Swan." Mr. Bartlett called my name from his desk. No doubt he was grading our recent Chemistry test. I did not have time to study, and of course, by the tone of his voice, I could tell that that the outcome was simply not good.

It had been three whole days since I had spoken to Edward. He had been here. At school. I sat next to him like I did everyday. No words were spoken between us. I had a feeling it had to do with my slight breakdown that night in the parking lot. For some reason he did not think it was safe to be around me, and I did not think it was safe for me to be around him. I battled my feelings, and hid them away from his view. Unsuccessfully. I had almost managed to compartmentalize those feelings in front of him. Right now, I'm sure our reasons for not speaking were very different. I had no clue but didn't want to be the one to speak first.

You see, I did not want to be around him because I was head over heels in love with him. Not speaking to him the past few days has been like torture. I can't focus on my work and I haven't thought about much else. He consumes all my thoughts. There was no cure for this hunger I had. His proximity was driving me wild.

Every time he has caught me in his arms..

Every time our skin lightly brushes on accident.

"Ms. Swan, hello?" Mr. Bartlett waved my paper in front of my face. I could see a big red "F" scribbled over it.

Funny, I've never gotten an "F" in my life.

My jaw dropped.

"Now, I know that you are a good student, can you tell me what's going on here? Is there anything I can change that might help you out? Perhaps the seating arrangement?" Mr. Bartlett whispered.

Oh no, he noticed something is not right with me sitting next to Edward. Was it really obvious that I liked him? Or did he think we weren't getting along? And even worse, I knew Edward was hearing this entire conversation. How would he react? Would he talk to me now?

"No, Mr. Bartlett, I just had a really bad day, I worked later than I should have and didn't get a chance to study as much as I wanted to." I droned on, making any fake excuse that would work. In my mind, I was begging him not to change the seating arrangement. Right now, physical proximity was the only thing that kept me close to Edward. The more I thought about it the more I wanted to hyperventilate.

Apparently Mr. Bartlett saw the shock on my face.

"It's okay Bella, don't worry. Since you are such a consistently well-prepared student, I will allow you to re-take the test. I understand that we can have circumstances in our lives that are sometimes unpreventable."

I sighed a huge sigh of relief. I began to walk back to my desk, and I saw Edward staring a hole through me. Remembering that he had the ability to hear the whole ordeal, I looked at the floor and scooted into my seat next to him. I flipped open my notebook and started scribbling down notes from the overhead.

The rest of class was long and silent. Mr. Bartlett was having conferences with students, and we were required to sit quietly and read chapters from the book. Some learning experience that was. The whole time I just stared at my book, thinking of the person sitting to my left. Thinking back to the night in the parking lot, I pretty much confessed the way I felt, without really saying the words, didn't I?

Is that why we're not talking now?

Seeing that the bell was about to ring, I started to pack up my books. It was a relief to turn away from Edward. I grabbed my notebook and a piece of folded paper fell out. Just as I unfolded the paper, the bell rang. Edward got up from his seat and exited the room, without even saying a word to me.

As the class emptied, I took a second to read what was written.

_Bella,_

_Let's meet at the library after school and I can help you study for your re-test._

_Edward_

My heart skipped a beat. I had a hard time understanding him. I would have to ask him why we hadn't spoken in a few days. Perhaps we could talk about more than chemistry. Perhaps we could talk about the chemistry between us.

*******

I was at the library early, and I didn't want to look as if I was just waiting around on Edward so I meandered around. I ended up in the mythology section. Curiously, I stopped and thumbed through some of the books. I saw pictures of roman gods and goddesses, creatures of the sea, mythological beings.

None of the pictures or descriptions fit Edward. If he were a roman god he would be selfish and arrogant. He was none of those. And he was certainly not any creature of the sea, with his good looks.

I walked through the library, and I eyed a boy looking at a comic book. Spiderman.

Could Edward be a super-hero? He certainly fit the description in my eyes, although funny costume was not involved.

I felt a tap on shoulder. I turned around to see my hero with his backpack slinged on one shoulder. I smiled at him softly.

"Ready?" He asked.

I nodded my head and we sat at the table that was closest to us. We opened our books and began studying. There was no small talk or conversation. He didn't ask me about my day. It was all about chemistry. My foot bumped his under the table and I apologized. He managed to stay straight-laced, but I sat across from him, unable to concentrate after some time passed. He had quizzed me on isotopes and just about everything that he could read off of his test. He was like a firm teacher, praising me for correct answers and trying to help me when I became confused. I looked up at the big wall clock to see we had been studying for two hours.

"Can we take a break?" I asked.

"Sure." Edward said. He started digging in his backpack silently, ending his questions to me. It was obvious I would have to initiate the talking.

"I don't understand why we aren't speaking…." I said. I looked down at my fingers, afraid of what the response might be.

"I just wanted to give you some space." Edward said.

"Well, I want to talk, like normal." I said.

"We're talking now."

"How was your day?"

"It was nice. Yours?"

"Very quiet. I've missed you."

His expression softened and he looked away from me. He stuck a pencil behind his ear.

"Have you figured it out yet?" He said, slightly changing the topic.

"No, I don't know what you are. I have some lame theories that you might laugh at."

"Try me."

"Umm…a super-hero?"

"Bella, I'm no hero."

"Eternal Warrior?"

"Hmm…." Edward just trailed off. He did not confirm or deny the accusation. He continued, "Perhaps I should help you." He stood up and held out his hand. I grabbed it, as he slowly led me through the thick stacks of books. It was similar to a maze. The library was a good size for a community library.

"Why are you helping me?" I asked.

"Because I need for you to find out so that you will know that you need to stay away from me."


	6. Vampire

This section of the library seemed forgotten. All the books were old, and the smell of dust and musk was in the air. Edward touched each of the books, finally picking one up and dropping it into my hands.

"I need you to find out Bella." Edward looked down, as if he had finally put the secret in my hands, and was now fully entrusting me with it. The moment seemed too surreal. He must really be concerned if he were this eager to share with me. Initially, he wanted to keep me as far away as possible. There was always a desire to hide the secret. Which I suppose was natural to him. It seems he's gotten very used to hiding. But then, I got close to him. We became close. And the weight of the book in my hand was much heavier than it should have physically been.

"Are you sure?" I asked. My own curiosity had waned, because part of me didn't want to know. Part of me was afraid that it would break my heart completely. In my mind, I had a fantasy that somehow I could work it out and be with him. Somehow I wondered if he was showing me his secret just to push me further away. I didn't want anything else to come between us, and this seemed like the elephant in the room.

He nodded his head. He wanted this. To read this book meant that everything between us would change. And I was almost certain that change wasn't for the better.

"I've got to go. Read it, and if you never speak to me again, I'll understand."

Those words sent a shiver of pain into the pit of my stomach. My mouth ran dry. And before I could even say 'No' he quickly ran away. He was gone in a flash.

The table where I had sat with Edward was again cold and empty. I took my same seat and looked at the empty chair across from me. I was not anxious to find out his secret. In my mind, I debated just burning the book. Perhaps it contained the only evidence of what he was. I considered refusing to read it. My curiousity remained, but the inevitable gloom of change hung heavy over my head and in my hands. Reluctantly, I peeled open the book and began reading about Quileute legends.

I learned all kinds of interesting things about the tribe that was near and dear to Forks. I had been to several of their big festivals that they held throughout the years. Especially when I was a child. Dad would take me out to the festivals and he would hang out with Billy Black. Every since Billy had his accident, things had changed between he and my father. I always used to hang out with a little native boy. His name was Jacob. It had been a long time since I had seen either of them. The festival always seemed like it was more for children anyways. When I grew up, I lost interest and curiousity. I was then reading stories about wolves; I had heard colorful stories being told about wolves, but I had never quite paid a great deal of attention to them.

What, Wolves? I didn't know what Edward was, but I was sure he was not a wolf. It seemed like I had spent countless hours reading, and learning of old legends. Nothing of particular notice had caught my eye, until I happened upon chapter eleven. And what I read shocked me, and horrified me.

It could not be true of Edward. Edward was not a blood-sucking killer.

I refused. He was too kind. Too gentle.

But his skin is cold, he's incredibly fast, he's got incredible powers. He's perfectly beautiful. Impossible to harm. It was the only thing that made sense to me. Shaking, I put the book down. I crossed my arms across my body and closed my eyes. Suddenly, I was deep in thought. My mind flashed back to that first night in the diner, when the man had been shot. I saw the fury in his deep and, at that time, dark eyes. That was the night that I feared Edward Cullen. Could it be true that he was a killer? Could it? Is that why he looked at the man so wildly? Was it the blood that was pooled around the corpse that made him nearly go mad?

I had the answer in front of me but I refused, absolutely refused to believe it.

*******

The next day at school was even more awkward than the previous one. It wasn't that I was avoiding Edward, but it seemed like he expected me to. He gave me plenty of space on the table, scooted his seat further away, and didn't even look at me as he entered.

Lowly I whispered, so that no one could hear but him.

"I don't believe that you are a killer." I scooted my seat closer to him. I silently begged for normalcy.

He gave me the most confused look I had ever seen him give.

"It's true Bella, I am." He leaned back to me and whispered.

The self-hate was seething from his voice. He regretted each one. He was repentant. He was still hurting himself because of the deaths now. He did not kill anymore in the diner that night, although he had the full capability to. He never hurt me. I could have been a threat to his secret, yet there I was. Living. Breathing. Speaking.

I reached a little to the right of the table and put my hand over his. It was a sympathetic move. He flinched away from me but I only moved my hand back over his. I felt the cold. There was no pulse there. His skin was fine and smooth like silk with no pores. My fingers explored its softness, lightly caressing the back of that beautiful hand. Edward was looking at me, I know, but I refused for my eyes to meet his. I needed this, and I know he needed this too. He needed to be comforted about all the things that he was burdened with.

He allowed me to continue, and I peered up at him curiously. His eyes met mine with a confusion. I turned his hand over, and let my fingers play in his palm, which was creased but it was not like my palm. His palm felt like a baby's bottom, mine felt rough and dry. My fingers stroked his palm, and this funny feeling surged through my body. It was a need, a desire.

The need to get closer. The need to fulfill him. It was an overwhelming urge, and it almost seemed like I would lose control. My god, I was only caressing his hand. I began to intertwine my fingers with his, and then I began to squeeze. But swiftly, he moved his hand away.

He had rejected me. My heart shattered into a million pieces. He had accepted the comfort of my touch but I had taken it to an uncomfortable place. Perhaps he told me his secret just so I would leave him alone. Perhaps he felt tortured, and maybe he felt like he was obligated to be so polite to me. Maybe he was punishing himself by putting up with me. All the thoughts began to overwhelm me and I felt tears build up behind my eyes.

The end of class could not come soon enough. It was Friday, and everyone was packed up ready to go. Even the teacher. As soon as the bell rang, the entire class emptied. Edward didn't move. Neither did I. When it seemed that the chatting in the hallways had disappeared, he finally spoke to me.

"Do you really even know what I am Bella?"

"I think so."

"Then say it."

"No."

"Say it." His eyes looked straight forward, as did mine.

"Vampire." He moved around the table, so that he was standing in front of me.

"And what do they drink?"

"Blood." I answered objectively. I had been through this same conversation in my own mind a thousand times, so I didn't even flinch.

"And you are here right now, knowing that I could kill you in the blink of an eye?"

I sat. I looked in his eyes. Anger sat there. Anger and confusion. The anger he had was not the kind that would kill me, it was the kind that would poke and prod with questions until he came to an understanding.

"You won't."

"How do you know that?"

"Because you have had a million opportunities to do it, and you've never hurt me. You saved my life, you're not going to waste time taking it away."

He was growing frustrated. The countertop beneath his fingers cracked and I saw it break away. He threw it across the room. The boards made a loud shatter, and the force of his pitch left a gash in the wall. I had no clue that Edward was capable of having a temper.

"Are you afraid now?" His tone was growing mad.

"I'm not afraid of a vampire who doesn't kill anymore. I'm not afraid of my friend. I'm not afraid because I know the good in your heart. I know you are still beating yourself up for whatever you've done. I don't care Edward. Yesterday is in the past. Today is now. Tomorrow is the future. Do not let your actions of the past affect what we have right now. You've been good to me. I'm only afraid of losing you. I'm afraid of you pushing me away." I finally breathed. My heart was racing and my tongue raced with those words.

Edward's tough exterior changed. He walked around the table and sat beside me again. I looked away, fearing that tears were about to become noticed.

I had a feeling admitting my love for him right now would be the move that lost him forever. I would do anything just to keep him. I put my head down on the desk and relaxed. I eased the tension in my shoulders.

Edward lightly brushed my hair over one shoulder. This gesture almost made me cry harder.

"Bella, I don't want to be this monster. I try really hard now. I'm a changed…..man. I could never hurt anyone, not just physically but emotionally. I don't want to hurt you anymore than I have. I will be your friend but I just can't give you anything else. It would end up hurting us both in the end."

So he knew. He knew all along. That was why he was pushing me away.

"I wish I could. But Bella, we can't. We're just different. I feed on the blood of animals now, but if I got too close to you, I could hurt you without meaning to. It's like there are two sides of me. One part wants to be just, to be normal, to be loved, to serve others. This other part of me only thinks of blood. The smell of blood, the taste of blood. The thrill of the hunt. I can't even speak of it. If I could trade all these powers in for a human life, I would do it in an instant. Bella, you are dangerous to me too. The smell of your blood is so tempting to me. The temptation never ceases. Even now. If you cut your finger, the monster inside of me could take over. I could kill you. I could lose control."

I sat up and looked at him so that he could see my reddened eyes. I imagine seeing the little veins full of blood caused him some pain, but at the time I was not thinking of that. I was thinking of everything we just said.

He just told me we can't ever be together. I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest.

"I'll make it easier for you." I said.

I stood up and slowly walked out of the room.


	7. Envy

I walked mindlessly down the hall. Avoiding Edward was hard. It was like avoiding the sun on a cloudless day, impossible, pointless, and why would you want to avoid it anyways? Not that I like the sun that much. Not the same way I like Edward.

It seemed that the more I avoided him, the more we were shoved together. We had a group project due in one class, and Edward was in my group. In Chemistry, we were always working as lab partners. Communication was kept to a minimum. He sat as far away from me as he could.

My heart is still broken. If I peered up at him during class, I'm pretty sure that I would just start crying. It was hard to ignore him, but I had treat to him like an invisible person.

Lunch was even more awkward. I felt as if the Cullens were staring a hole through me. All the Cullens except Edward. He would look at his food, appearing as if in deep concentration on anything but me. My guess was that the Cullens were mad at me for finding out. Who knew with them, they never had any interest in me before. They certainly never stared at me during lunch when Edward and I were friends.

I snapped back to the present. I unlocked my locker and shuffled through to get the correct books. I was frustrated, hurt, bothered. I didn't know how much longer I could take it. I slammed my locker door shut.

People walked past me in the hall. I saw Edward walking up the hall, and then my friend Jessica a few short steps behind. Edward walked past me as if I wasn't even there. Alice Cullen was at her locker, about 10 feet down from mine. Edward stopped and began talking to her. I sighed.

Jessica bobbled up from behind me.

"Hey! Where have you been lately? You've been in your own world…."

"I was failing a class, and Charlie was relentless…" I explained.

"Oh tell me about it, my dad flipped when I was failing English Lit."

"So what's up?" I asked.

"I wanted to see if you wanted to be on the decoration committee for the Halloween dance?"

"_Oh the irony," _I thought to myself. However, I knew it would give me an excuse to stay away from work, Edward, and everything else, so I nodded in agreement.

"Great!" Jessica squealed. She continued, "We're going to decorate the gym like a dungeon and we're going to rent a fog machine and everything."

"Sounds exciting."

"Here's your to-do list." Jessica handed me the list, and I saw that it had at least twenty items on it. Well, I asked for something to do didn't I?

"I'll get started right away."

I scanned the list and noticed a few items.

Among the things on my to-do list, I noticed "make a coffin."

I took out a pen from my pocket and scribbled on the neatly typed to-do list

"Make a coffin--and get in it."

_Coffins. Great. _As if I weren't reminded of Edward enough already.

"Bella?" Jessica added, she was clearly not done with me.

"I think Tyler is going to ask you to the dance today in P.E."

"Really? I didn't see that coming, thanks for the heads up." I squinted. I didn't want to go to the dance with anyone really. I never considered myself a great dancer.

I looked up from my to-do list and saw Edward still talking with Alice.

Edward had a look of fuming rage on his face.

I hadn't noticed an angry look from him all week.

I knew he had super sonic hearing. Maybe he thinks I'm going to go to the dance. Maybe he finds the halloween dance offensive. If I were a vampire, and people dressed as a misconstrued version of me one day a year, I would be offended.

He probably didn't like that I was participating in such an ostentatious occasion. Yes, that was it.

****

When I began to walk to my P.E. class, nervous butterflies shot through my stomach. I wasn't sure if I should go with Tyler just to have a date, or say 'no' because I wasn't interested in him at all. I walked nearer and nearer to the double doors. Then, I noticed Edward, standing in the coaches office. I just pretended like I didn't see him at all, and waltzed into the gym. Immediately, I was approached by Tyler.

"Bella, I need to ask you something."

"Sure, anything." I said, meanwhile thinking, "_here it goes."_

"Well, Friday is the Halloween Dance…..would you be my….date?"

"Tyler, I think you're so cool, really, I just don't know if I want to be at the dance."

"Jessica told me you are on the decorations committee…"

"Oh…" My excuse would not work. "Sure, I'll go with you."

"We should figure out a couple's costume. Call me this afternoon, okay?"

I nodded my head.

Well, that was painless.

Tyler walked off, a basketball nearly missing his head.

During P.E., the gym was often divided into two halves, the girls' half and the boys' half.

I made my way over to the girls' half. I climbed onto the bleachers to see my friend Angela.

"Did he ask?" She said.

"Yep."

"Are you going with him to the dance?"

"Yep."

"Aren't you excited?"

At this, I stopped to think. I really wasn't excited about anything. A normal teen would be. Not me.

I looked over to the gym doors to see a shadowy figure. I didn't have to look again to know it was Edward. I had no clue why he was hanging around here, when he should be on the other side of the school.

Then the thoughts hit me.

1. Jessica told me Tyler would ask me out when Edward was in ear-shot.

2. Tyler asked me out in the gym when Edward was coincidentally in proximity.

3. Edward is waiting to see what my response and reaction will be.

I'm going to use this information to my advantage.

"I'm glad that Tyler asked me. I've never been around Tyler that much but who knows? I've been kind of lonely lately. I think I'm ready to date around, ya know?"

"Yeah, now if only Ben would ask me out." Angela said.

"Well, why don't you just ask him?"

"Do you think I should?"

"Totally! Don't wait for him. Sometimes guys just need a push."

_Including Edward Cullen, who is totally getting pushed right now._

I heard the gym door slam, and I didn't need to look up to know that it was a very jealous, very angry, Edward Cullen.


	8. No Going Back

Author's Note: Please realize that Bella does not know that Edward is telepathic. It will come later. Also, a lot of changes are happening with me right now, so I will keep posting like I am now, with a post about every week. I'm getting hitched and moving away and all kinds of things. I appreciate your continued support.

I sat downstairs, waiting on Tyler. Tyler decided that we should be "Bella and the Beast." I wasn't crazy about it, but everyone told me it would be 'original'. So I found a big yellow dress from the thrift store and made adaptations. Tyler was 15 minutes late. My cellphone rang. Great.

"Hey."

"Bella, it's me, Tyler. I really want to take you to the dance but I am currently running a temperature of 102."

"Oh gosh, I'm so sorry, would you like me to come over?"

"No, I'll be okay. My mom is going to take me to the emergency room, she thinks I might have the flu."

"Well, I hope you feel better."

"You should still go to the dance, you worked so hard on the decorations."

"I might. I feel kind of stupid in yellow dress without my other half."

"Just put some zombie makeup on and you'll fit right in."

"Ha. Well, I'll call Jessica and see if I can tag along."

"I'm really sorry Bella. I'll take you out sometime to make up for this."

"Bye Tyler"

"Bye."

I hung up. Charlie came in and looked at me sideways.

"Did he stand you up?" He said angrily.

"No, he's just really sick."

Charlie mumbled and walked off.

I ended up calling Angela and riding with her and her date to the dance. I hated to intrude, but I just couldn't go alone. I could hear the music booming from outside. I hated it when the music was loud. No conversation could ever be heard. It would make this night even more awkward. I walked in, alone. I saw Jessica and all of friends in the middle of the dance floor, and I walked over to join them. Jessica was mouthing something but of course I couldn't hear.

"Where's Tyler?" she practically yelled into my ear.

"He's sick." I stated

"Yeah, he called me and said that he caught flu from one of his little sisters. Little kids and all their germs." Jessica's date said.

That was about all the conversation we could have, so we danced.

I danced for what seemed like an hour. I'm a reluctant dancer, but my friends make me feel comfortable enough to make a fool of myself. A slow dance song came on and my feet ached, so I decided to take a seat.

The whole room seemed to freeze. The double doors to the gym opened and my worst nightmare was confirmed.

Edward saw me alone. I had not thought the whole situation through. I didn't even know why he was here, he usually had an avoidant personality. And since a dance is a social event, I thought he would stay far away. But no, he was dressed to the nines in a tux, looking finer than ever. I feared the humiliation that was to come. I was so frumpy next to him. What's worse, he was walking straight towards me, and didn't seem to have a look of concern over his face. It was as if he already knew of my situation.

"May I have this dance?" he asked in a smooth voice, extending his hand to me. I had forgotten that we weren't on speaking terms. The aftershock occurred and I wasn't sure what my response should be.

"I thought it would be better if we….didn't." I didn't want to re-open my wound. I was doing so well at shutting him off, or at least I thought

"Things have changed." A flash of concern flashed through his eyes.

"And it's too late to go back to where we were isn't it?" He looked away. We were both very unsure of where this could go.

"Just dance with me, please." He pleaded.

My heart couldn't take it. I stood up and he led me to the floor. He held me in a classic embrace with a steady frame. We swayed, and he was very fragile with me. His sweet lips were only inches, and they were at my eye level. I admired their extreme lushious perfection. I imagined my lips tasting his. Those soft pillows were irresistable.

"Do you want me to tell you why I am here alone?"

"I already know."

Then, do you know if Tyler is really sick, or did he put me off?"

"He's really sick. Bella, I don't think any man would have the stupidity to pass up a wonderful date like you."

"You're just being kind."

"I wasn't even coming tonight until…I learned of that."

"Thus the tux? I mean…what are you?" I looked him in the eyes.

"I'm James Bond." He smirked, and it took the breath out of my chest.

"How did you know? Are you psychic too?"

"No, but my sister Alice has visions of the future. She foresaw this."

"Does all your family have special abilities?" The song had ended, and another fast tuned song picked up.

"No, just a few of us. Me, Alice, Jasper….that's it." he moved my arms and held my hands in his.

I desperately wanted another slow song to come on. I knew all my friends were watching in disbelief, but frankly I didn't care. I wanted out of here now. I wanted to talk to Edward.

I knew Edward didn't care to be there either.

"Can we go somewhere?"

"Sure, have you eaten?"

"No."

****

Edward drove like a madman. I nervously stared forward. I noticed he kept his head and eyes turned towards me most of the time. He was driving about 90 miles an hour. Edward pulled up at a Dolce, an Italian restaurant. We were escourted inside and seated at a table.

"And what will you be ordering?" I winked at him.

"just a glass of water to stare at while you eat. Actually, I will be staring at you. Which is more pleasant."

I blushed profusely. Was this happening? Am I alive? Am I in heaven? How could such a beautiful…creature feel like this towards me?

"You look very handsome in your tux. Everyone in here turned their heads to look."

"I'm sure it's because we are so overdressed." he commented politely.

"What has changed your mind about us?" I asked. His face wrenched into several expressions in the blink of an eye. The most prominent expression was concern, and then, contentment.

"I just can't stay away from you. If I'm going to hell anyways, I might as well enjoy the ride." He looked away, only half believing what he was saying.

"I don't see what you've done to deserve hell."

"And that's why you're so dangerous to me."

"You are still resisting aren't you?" My temper was rising. He immediately looked down. I continued, "You want to be here, you want to be……with me, but there's this part of you that's still punishing yourself.

"It's still wrong for us to be together. Just because I want it doesn't make it any less wrong." His voice was now rising.

A welcome interruption came when the waiter walked up.

"May I take your orders?"

"Yes, I'll have the baked ziti." I spoke.

He turned to Edward. "And you?"

"I'm not hungry." Edward gave the menu to the man.

We sat quietly, both unsure of what to say next.

The food was sat in front of me. I just sat there.

"Aren't you going to eat Bella?" He asked. I looked down at my plate and picked up my fork. I ate quietly, but the silence was killing me.

"Could you please talk to fill in the silence while I'm stuffing my face?"

"You need to read that book I handed to you more closely. You would realize that I'm not a good force to reckon with."

"I read everything, and none of those horrible things describe you. You are not going to harm me."

"No, not on purpose, although I'm getting really frustrated right now. Talking to you is like trying to convince a mountain to move. It just doesn't happen."

"Well, what do you want? I'm so confused. I avoid you like you want and you end up taking me out to dinner. You want me to stay away yet there are times when you draw me close. Edward, just tell me what you want and I'll do it. Just stick to whatever the plan is. It's really messing with me. It hurts."

Edward searched my eyes. I had a feeling this inner conflict was going on with him. I was growing tired of waiting and being patient with his condition. I needed an answer. My heart wouldn't ever be able to move on, regardless. We were back to silence. The waiter took up the check and Edward acted as a perfect gentleman, helping me out of my chair, holding the door, shutting my car door. Totally un-neccesary, and slightly embarrassing, but I still secretly enjoyed it.

In the silence on the way home, I was beginning to wonder if a relationship between us would work. He would never grow old, and I would age every passing year. Now I could see why he had reservations.

"How old are you Edward?"

"Over 100."

"It doesn't really matter to me."

"I'm still considered a young vampire. My father Carlisle has existed for over 500." His conversation eased into a natural state. I think that for the first time he enjoyed telling someone about the uniqueness of his family. I decided to ask more questions.

"So what is Jasper's special ability?"

"He can control people's emotions."

I just nodded as if I understood.

"Well, here we are." Edward said.

Already in front of my house. I looked at my watch and it was near midnight. I must have gotten used to Edward's wild driving. He opened my car and walked me up the steps to my front door.

"Thanks for rescuing me, James Bond." I smiled and winked at him. Yes, I was flirting.

"You are a damsel in distress." He smiled back warmly.

I naturally stepped closer to him. The gap between us was more than I could bear.

"Bella, if I don't leave right now, there's no going back, ever." He stepped back from me, taking in a sharp breath. It was as if he were nervous, debating with himself in his mind. I would give up everything just to hear what he was thinking. I dared to take another step closer. It was dark outside but I still managed to see him dimly under the porch light. His hair shined and his eyes flickered.

"What would happen if you didn't leave?" I moved closer.

"First, I would have to touch your hair." His cold hand grazed my cheek before combing through my hair. My knees were growing weak from his simple soft caresses. My head rested in his palm with ease

"Then, I would have to tell you how beautiful I think you are." Edward rubbed my cheek with his thumb, cradling my face.

"And then I would have to do this." He pulled me to him, staring me in the eyes all the while. I had never seen such a soft expression from him. His lips pressed upon mine, and my body melted. He had me pulled so close that I could just lean on him. His sweet scent stole my breath, his cold lips rubbed against mine. He kissed again, this time more needy, more hungry. My hands ran up and down his chest and began to become lost in all these sensations. I knew these sensations were far beyond what any person had ever felt. It was greater than being with anyone else. I wanted so much more of him. I was crazed. I was in love.

Abruptly he pulled away.

"Charlie is coming…" he whispered.

"Oh." My disappointment was great.

He kissed me on the cheek and squeezed my hands.

"I'll see you tomorrow." He was gone in a flash.

Charlie opened the door.

"Are you talking to someone?" He nervously looked around.

"Just myself. I had trouble finding my key." I was grinning from ear to ear.


End file.
